sending the Dow up 1,000 points and crashing oil 5%. Confusion is running rampant as investors attempt to nail down who said what. Keep your cash, as nothing could be more opaque.

a new four-year high for the national average. It’s over $6 in California. You can almost hear the American economy grinding to a halt. Inflation numbers in April will rocket.

The Kuwait Petroleum Corporation says an Iranian attack on the giant 500,000-barrel Al-Salmi oil tanker at the Dubai Port has caused a fire, warning that it could lead to an oil spill. No injuries were reported among the tanker’s 24 crew members, whose safety had been secured, the media office said. Maritime firefighting teams had been working to bring the fire under control and later said it had been extinguished. It sure puts on a heck of a show.

after Iran’s missiles destroyed smelters in Bahrain and the UAE. The light-weight metal advanced toward $3,500 a ton in London, on course for a monthly gain of 10%. That’s the most since April 2024 and bucks a broader downtrend for metals in March. The war on Gulf infrastructure continues. The conflict has tightened the global market, with around a tenth of aluminum's global production concentrated in the Persian Gulf and exports choked off by the closure of the Strait of Hormuz.

for $45 Billion. To purchase most of Unilever Foods' portfolio, including Hellmann's mayo and U.K. favorite Marmite, McCormick will pay $15.7 billion in cash. Unilever shareholders will own 55.1% of the combined company, while Unilever will hold a 9.9% stake. For Unilever, divesting much of its food business allows the company to focus on its personal-care segment, which is growing faster.