July 13, 2010 – Why I’m Not Buying the US Stock Rally

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S&P 500 SPDR's ETF

2) Why I'm Not Buying the US Stock Rally. Tempt me all you want, you seductive vixen, but I'm not buying into last week's 6% rally in the US stock market. You can whisper sweet nothings into my ear all you want about the trillions of dollars sitting on the sidelines, the low PE multiples, and cash laden corporate balance sheets. Slip some of those low interest rates in my drink and it will do you no good. You can even wear that low cut blouse that reveals your hidden assets. All I see is your paltry volume, structural deficiencies, and overuse by professionals.  And as much as I try to avert my eyes from such things, your technical position sucks. It all paints a picture of a weak summer rally in a bear market, something to be avoided like the clap. You know who's outing you for the low life strumpet that you really are? Those 3% yields on the ten year Treasuries, which have been a far better judge of character than your equity oriented pals. Change your slumming ways, and I might take a second look. A surreptitious visit to the local free clinic might help too. Until then, I'd rather take my chances with the acne faced nerd I met on Match.com, who wears glasses thicker than Coke bottle bottoms, and lists herself as 'Debbie Downer,' but scored 800 on her math SAT's.

S&P 500 Large Cap Index