My mother lives in Pakistan, my daughter in Greece, and I have a ski chalet in Peru.

What's more, I have had strategy luncheons in Australia, Thailand, and Turkey.

At least these would be my conclusions after looking at a map prepared by my esteemed former employer, The Economist magazine, of the United States, renaming each state with it's international equivalent in GDP.

There are other tongue-in-cheek comparisons to be made.

Texas is portrayed as Russia, which makes sense, as both are oil exporters. Ditto for Alaska, which is represented by Oman.

As for Hawaii? It is renamed Croatia. Now that would really give President Obama birth certificate problems!

I worked for this august publication for a decade during the seventies, and have been reading the best business magazine in the world for over four decades. They never cease to inform, entertain, and titillate.

An April 1 issue once did a full page survey on a fictitious country off the coast of India called San Serif.

It noted that if the West coast kept eroding, and the East coast continued silting up, the country would eventually run into the subcontinent, creating serious geopolitical problems.

It wasn't until someone figured out that the country, the prime minister, and every town on the map was named after a type font that the hoax was uncovered.

This was way back, in the pre-Microsoft Word era, when no one outside the London typesetter's union knew what ?Times Roman? meant.

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I am pleased to announce that I have an opening for the Mad Hedge Fund Trader Executive Concierge Service, a program that is aimed at our most valued clients.

This is the first time an opening has become available since the service was initiated in November.

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It is my intention to limit the number of subscribers to ten. When a black swan comes out of the blue, I have to be able to call all of you within the hour and tell you the immediate impact on your portfolio.

That?s what I did from a mountaintop in Western Ireland when Brexit hit.

My former employer, The Economist, once the ever tolerant editor of my flabby, disjointed, and juvenile prose (Thanks Peter and Marjorie), has released its new ?Big Mac? index of international currency valuations.

Although initially launched as a joke three decades ago, I have followed it religiously and found it an amazingly accurate predictor of future economic success.

The index counts the cost of McDonald?s (MCD) premium sandwich around the world.

I can personal confirm the top end of the index in Switzerland at $6.59 for a Big Mac. This is the price of the sandwich only, not of the full meal including cholesterol loaded French fries and a sugar and caffeine laden drink.

In Basel, Zermatt, and Geneva I dashed into shops to check prices, but didn?t buy anything. The staff there must have thought I was ?MAD,? while my traveling companions were deeply annoyed.

In fact, my doctors banned me from this heart attack on a plate years ago.

The bottom end of the Index can be found in Malaysia, where the median annual salary of only $4,500 can justify a price no higher than $1.99. There is also a cultural preference for chicken products in this Islamic country.

What are the Index's conclusions today?

The Swiss franc (FXF), the Norwegian krone, the Swedish krona, and, and the Euro (FXE) are overvalued, while the Hong Kong dollar, the Chinese Yuan (CYB), and the Thai Baht are cheap.

The US dollar (UUP) is now at the highish end of the range.

I couldn?t agree more with many of these conclusions. It?s as if the august weekly publication was tapping The Diary of the Mad Hedge Fund Trader for ideas.

I only learned last week that McDonald?s is removing high fructose corn syrup from its hamburgers. I never knew it was in there!

Still, it points to the company?s determination to move forward with healthier alternatives, as is the rest of the entire food industry.

That may partially explain the outsized performance of the shares over the past year, up 40.52%.

I am no longer the frequent consumer of Big Macs that I once was, as at my advanced age, my metabolism has slowed to such an extent that in eating one, I might as well tape it to my ass.

Price rises also haven?t helped. When my mom took her seven kids to the Golden Arches during the 1950?s, the hamburgers were ten cents apiece.

Better to use it as an economic forecasting tool than a speedy lunch.

The Big Mac in Yen is Definitely Not a Buy